In a touching article, Laura Devries recounts :. You wonder what happened; but you know what happened. Life happened. They went one way, you went another. Leaving a sadness in your heart, you may or may not have been aware of at the time, because life simply went on.
And maybe not just one. There is something about the bond of growing through a time of transition with someone that creates an unshakable foundation. Childhood might have been hectic, but it was also direct. You experienced joy and pain spontaneously without all the labels and stories that we create in adult life.
There are some things in life and growing up that makes even getting up for a new day an accomplishment in and of itself. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry. Maybe Hemingway was right but focusing on this kind of outlook leads to bitterness that corrodes you from the inside, ending with an elephant gun of one kind or another.
The good news is that being broken is the first step to starting over and becoming a truly authentic and self-actualized individual.
But even kids who grow up in strict religious or military families have more freedom than adults who are saddled with all sorts of responsibilities and life stresses. Instead of feeling constrained by the demands of adult life, let them strengthen you like weight training at the gym. Kara Cutruzzula nails it :. What do you miss the most about your childhood? What does it mean if you miss your childhood? Do you miss your childhood?
What are my hopes and dreams for my child? Why do we dream less as we get older? Are dreams necessary? How do you stop missing your childhood? Life as an adult can be overwhelming and confusing because there is just so much to the world that you have to figure out yourself. Did your parents teach you how to pay taxes? Change a car tire or check your oil? Budget your finances?
Cook a meal? Apply for jobs? Shop for groceries? Even if your parents were terrific, there will be gaps in your knowledge that you will have to fill by yourself.
The good news is that you have access to the internet! If you have questions, someone else has more than likely answered those questions somewhere on the internet. Child relationships are generally less messy than adult relationships. Sure, bullying happens, siblings can be cruel, and parents can be unhealthy and destructive.
A new friend! Plus, adult relationships can be hard to maintain when families, jobs, and the tribulations of life have to be dealt with. This is a difficult one to navigate because it requires effort from friends as well. Simply put, everyone just has to take the time to keep the relationships healthy. Schedule a game night once or twice a month. Have lunch with a friend every so often. Look for new friends by looking into a new hobby or social groups.
Set up a visit with your child's doctor. Let your child's doctor know if sad or bad moods seem to go on for a few weeks. By itself, this doesn't always mean a child is depressed. Tell your child's doctor if you have also noticed changes in your child's sleep, eating, energy, or effort. Tell them if your child is dealing with a loss, a big stress, or hardship.
The doctor will do a physical exam. A full exam lets the doctor check for health issues that could cause your child's symptoms. They can also check for depression. Your child's doctor may refer you to a child therapist. The doctor's office might have a child therapist on staff. Set up a visit with a child therapist.
A child therapist mental health doctor will spend time talking with you and your child. They will do an in-depth check for depression by asking questions and listening. The therapist can explain how therapy can help your child. Take your child to therapy visits. The therapist may suggest a few visits, or more. Therapy can take time, but you will see progress along the way. Be patient and kind.
When your child acts moody or difficult, try to stay patient. Talk with your child's therapist about the best ways to respond when your child acts this way. Often, it helps to connect with your child in a calm way, then guide them to better behavior.
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