You can't buy a fried anything or squoosh a penny into a worthless flat oval. Me men'll get this place into ship-shape. The finest builders what sailed the seas! It makes sense that sailors would know carpentry. They have to constantly repair the ship. We'll start by building a logo store to increase footfalls and up the spill-over effect. Okay, now it's making less sense.
Sailors must also be well versed in mall-science and neuromarketing. Squidport buildings can only be placed on the boardwalk, ye land-lubbers! Yeah, build on the boardwalk, Land-lubbers! If you lub land so much, why don't you marry it? Y'arr, Homer, don't help. You have to put Squidport buildings on the boardwalk, or the pirate guy will get mad! Aarg, I should keelhaul the lot of ye!
After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark. Gather together your birthday card twenties and "get well soon" fives! We're going to the Itchy and Scratchy store! Luckily I went to the ER three times last month, so I'm flush with cash! That place is a rip-off, Bart. This Scratchy keychain is clearly a re-painted Garfield with an ax in his head.
This Itchy and Scratchy ball bounces funny and makes my eyes water when I smell it. Also, it's stamped with the words "Warning: Not a Toy! I just found money in my other pocket! What are we waiting for? Let's buy more crap! T'is a start, but a short boardwalk is like a peg-leg dancing girl. If she's right there, you'll look at 'er, but enh. Ye need to build more Boardwalk. How do we do that? I mean, I know Head ye over to the Squidport Entrance and then, er I don't know, just build it.
Little girl, I need some supplies, where can an old salt get hands on rope and tarps? Are you going out to sea again? Nay, I'm going to an Adele concert and wanted to unfurl a sign that says I heart her.
I've got bad seats so it has to be a big one. Well, the boardwalk used to have a place that sold camping supplies. And it shall again. Fall on, men -- the cheap seats await! The boardwalk is coming 'round nicely, but still there's something missing.
Captain, sir? If I could offer a suggestion That's it exactly, matey! You gay men always have the best design advice. Oh, I'm not a homosexual. Neither am I, wink-wink! Now let's get to decorating, girlfriend! What kind of store is this? Thermal underwear, waterproof matches, flares Oh my God! This stuff is awesome!
Fire starter, extra long forks, something that turns pee into drinking water? Why haven't I always been shopping here?! A boy and his explosives. Is there anything more American? Now, my hearties, bring her about and get her braced in a broach and ye can lay to that! Is everything okay, Sea Captain? I've been running out of nautical jargon to pepper me conversation with.
Which is hard because, ye know, it's my thing. You could pick up jargon from classic tales of the sea like, "Treasure Island" or "Moby Dick". You're like one of them, ye know, light Y'arr, I'd best get to readin'. I've learned a thing or three in me travels. Things I'd like ta share with the good folk o' Springfield. Mayhaps a cultural imports store. It's so wonderful that you want to expose people to the crafts and cultures of distant peoples!
N'arr, I just want to fleece tourists the way the locals fleeced me everywhere I went. Maybe unload some tribal gew-gaws I got conned inta buying. After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark. Ooh, an entire store filled with rainsticks! How can I choose just one? Lis, even you have to see those things are beyond lame. It's a giant, slow rattle.
Rainsticks were invented by the Aztecs who believed that by recreating the sound of rain, they could call forth rainstorms to water their crops. Well, they should have invented a stick that recreated the sound of them not being conquered by the Spanish. That was actually historically accurate. I perk up in class when there's ass-whoopings. When ye're crossing a great ocean and ye got miles of time ahead of ye, it's the perfect opportunity to hone new skills.
Like what? Knot tying, knife throwing, shark punching? I was able to work up a solid stand up set. Here's my opener: We all know the difference between a Quartermaster and Boatswain, right? What language are you speaking? Y'arr, I'm still workshoppin' a lot of this. I don't get it. If he was tall, he couldn't fit in the gunwale which would be hilarious because My quality sea-comedy's too good for the likes of you. Ye can amuse yerself with the low-rent antics of boardwalk street performers.
Now this is a boardwalk on which Ahab himself would be proud to play skeeball. The Squidport is finally ready for the placement of its crowning jewel. You're going to share your ill-gotten treasure booty with us! Stop calling me a pirate! I meant a metaphorical jewel. Something that will really make the Squidport shine.
A fried dough stand? Better than that. An Antique Book Store? A hundred foot tall climbing wall that you parachute down from? Well okay, not as good as that. Y'arr, to use an old nautical term: Ta-dah!! That's our "jewel"? A crappy food shack? The Frying Dutchman is a charming seafood restaurant! You sell fish sticks.
That's not seafood. It's barely food-food. Out of my way people, or risk being eaten! Business is booming! Booming footsteps? Why is the ground shaking? What's that shadow falling over the threshold? Message 1 of 3 Views. Reply 0. Accepted Solution. Re: Squidport Start? January That's part of the questline. Squidport Pt. Place boardwalk sections Homer triggers Squidport Pt. Homer swears at the ocean 12 hours Homer triggers Squidport Pt.
You may also need Homer and maybe Lisa to prompt for Squidport to start building and the plots of land by the water to be unlocked for purchase. To be honest I was the maximum level at the time so already had all the land so am not too sure on that bit.
Message 2 of 3 Views. L — Which kind was that? H — Little of both. Squidport Pt. Homer — Okay, water expansion bought! L — Great! Now we can build the Squidport Entrance. H — I dunno, building builders, I assume. Homer — Mmm, fried dough.
A plate-sized glob of wet flour, deep fried and covered with whipped cream… Ow! Chest pains! H — I need to exercise. By walking a short distance along the boardwalk to get the the Fried Dough Stand. Homer — Ah, the Squidport! Full of charming junkies and colorful runaways, attracted by the smell of carnival food and shady merchants… H — Wait a minute! Lisa — Dad? Is something wrong? H — No, Sweetie.
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